after Ginsberg
There are bombs buried deeply in the deserts of Nevada
and that doesn’t bother me much while I sleep. My stomach
is more empty than full and my mouth is a kind of torchlight.
The city stirs smoke glowing undulant from smokestacks
and we are running out of fossil fuels but that is far from me now
and the world is alright. In Dublin tonight it is morning and
a woman is dead in an alley and she has been all night
and a dish washer will find her soon slumped over garbage
and become the first person to touch her in almost
three weeks. Montana is the state I would most like to die in
I hear it’s lovely snow or not. Justin was a friend of mine
in the psychiatric hospital we shared a room and even though
I woke up once to him staring at me from his bed he was
a decent man with an ugly tattoo that he loved so dearly
more than anything especially himself though he tried.
There are children without sheets in this very city and
the world is alright. I drove to a peacock farm and spent
almost an hour wandering and watching them sort of blossom.
One of them flew into a tree on a branch much higher than I thought
he could reach and he sat there defiantly staring back at me
as if to say what do you care and I didn’t have an answer
and I never do. My baby Echo was hit by a car and I miss her terribly.
These things happen all the time there is this woman named
Dolores I know from the shelter who used to work as a stripper
where her name was Trinity and she has a very nuanced
theology wherein the Lord is a janitor and the world
is just fine. It can save itself she said and though I don’t
believe in much really I believed her when she said it
although in retrospect I would have believed about
anything she said because to me she is beautiful
and that is my theology. A bride on her way to the altar
and her veil is filled with bees and her breasts are leaking
honey and she is never stung she just closes her eyes.
The prison guard sleeps in the pipes of black coffee
and salt spills itself along underground veins and sadness
is a way of singing to oneself I am trying to show you.